Sounds wonderful, Kelly! I'm sorry you've been experiencing flare-ups of pain, but you're counteracting them in the best way you possibly can, by being kind and gentle to yourself and letting your body surrender to a natural flow of things. You could push yourself to write with a "perfect" structure and push your body to do heavier exercise, but what for? That would be pushing yourself into a form of rigidity that you left behind. Listening to your body and mind as you do now is the ultimate form of healing xx
One thing that I noticed is that I sometimes beat myself for not growing to discover this surrender and flow sooner, thinking of how much pain that could have spared me over the years. But that pressure is just another form of clinging onto rigidity that was imposed on us, isn't it?
I keep reminding myself that I went through what I had to go through, that I simply didn't have emotional or mental capacity to do it any differently a couple of years ago when I was a very different person. Flow includes a flow of painful and hard to stomach things too... No river flows in a straight line, it's meandering and sometimes it even runs dry. We humans are the same and being kind to myself includes accepting this messy history.
Sorry, I'm getting a bit philosophical here, haha!
No apology needed, happy to philosophize all day long! But yes you are so right, we are always learning and can only ever do our best with what we know at the time. Here's to staying fluid x
Sounds wonderful, Kelly! I'm sorry you've been experiencing flare-ups of pain, but you're counteracting them in the best way you possibly can, by being kind and gentle to yourself and letting your body surrender to a natural flow of things. You could push yourself to write with a "perfect" structure and push your body to do heavier exercise, but what for? That would be pushing yourself into a form of rigidity that you left behind. Listening to your body and mind as you do now is the ultimate form of healing xx
Thank you so much for this lovely comment, Ramona. There is so much freedom in the surrender, right? x
There really is! And it feels so liberating.
One thing that I noticed is that I sometimes beat myself for not growing to discover this surrender and flow sooner, thinking of how much pain that could have spared me over the years. But that pressure is just another form of clinging onto rigidity that was imposed on us, isn't it?
I keep reminding myself that I went through what I had to go through, that I simply didn't have emotional or mental capacity to do it any differently a couple of years ago when I was a very different person. Flow includes a flow of painful and hard to stomach things too... No river flows in a straight line, it's meandering and sometimes it even runs dry. We humans are the same and being kind to myself includes accepting this messy history.
Sorry, I'm getting a bit philosophical here, haha!
No apology needed, happy to philosophize all day long! But yes you are so right, we are always learning and can only ever do our best with what we know at the time. Here's to staying fluid x
How I loved reading that swimming is loosening your words and easing you into your flow! You'll be a fellow selkie before you know it!
Haha not sure about that! But I am certainly enjoying my pool sessions and the freedom they bring to my words.
Keep going kelly!! You are a warrior xx from another endo champion. You are a brave soul and i know how hard this is xx
Thank you Bonnie! I appreciate the support and solidarity.