Ordinary, Everyday Things

A return to the basics

It has been a while since the words have freely spilled out onto the page. They have been tumbling around within, marinating, waiting.

This winter has been an odd one; a time of rest and a time of change once more.

Over the festive season I was very unwell. The type of unwell that stops you in your tracks, forces you to halt and reconsider all the ways you are showing up and being in this world. I had little energy to do much beyond getting through the day and daily. Much time was spent on the sofa scouring through years and years of family photos, picking ones to print to create two walls of memories: one of all our holidays and one of all our hikes. I cried a lot as I reminisced in my fever-stricken state, but too this gallery-creation brought so much joy at a time when I was feeling pretty low and redundant and as my family came and went, watching movies, checking in on me, I realised how simple this whole thing can be when we are stripped back to a basic mode of being. How much beauty and love there is in the ordinary, everyday things. The time of rest brought into sharp focus the people and the things that are most dear to me once more. How quickly we lose sight of it in this busy world of doing.

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Come January, on my birthday to be exact, change was afoot. Feeling rested and mostly recovered I embarked on something new.

I had taken more than a year away from the world of nine-to-five to edit and publish my first book, Nurture. I was thankful that I was able to do this, but the time had come to return to working life and for me to bring in some regular income once more. Book writing and publishing is immensely enjoyable, but a reliable wage it is not! And so, the starting date arrived for the job I had applied and interviewed for and been offered the post. I was a nervous wreck if truth be told. That first day triggered old fears of failure and not being enough. I had been self-employed for the five years prior to Nurture’s release, having run my own outdoor adventure business for women. Now, I was joining a company and had to learn a whole new set of skills and ways of operating and reporting to senior staff. It has been six weeks now since I began and I am still finding my feet, but enjoying the new challenge of it all at the same time!

I wish I could say that I have been managing to write around the edges of my new job. But alas, I am so zonked come evening I have been falling asleep on the sofa most nights. All the learning and doing of my new role is stretching me and I am finding that I am in need of deep, deep rest in order to show up in the best way that I can each day. I am being stretched in new ways but it feels good.

The job itself is within the caring industries. I carry with me all the experiences of my many previous jobs and all my experiences as a mother of three with me into this role and realising how much I have to offer. I have seen already in the short time in my new post that while we all live on this same planet, we do not all live in the same world. Life for many is a getting through the day and daily basics. There are so many unseen things. So many people doing beautiful work to make others’ lives meaningful, safe and joyful. It has been eye-opening and rewarding and shocking and a privilege. More of the ordinary, everyday things making me question who I am, what I value, how I want to show up in this world. How to be the change I wish to see in the world at this most fundamental level.

This new work has already changed me in so many ways in such a short space of time.

I am capable of things I didn’t think I was.

I am able to care and not look away when things are hard and uncomfortable.

I am able to show up with love and compassion even when it is hard.

I am not fully sure why I am sharing all this with you. I suppose in a way, writing these words is my way of processing my own life right now. I have gone out to the world of work once more in order to earn a wage that will support my family, and yet, I am finding joy, purpose and meaning in such unexpected ways. In the ordinary, unseen, everyday places of life for those needing support and care, I have encountered so many little golden moments that stop me in my tracks and make me understand myself and what truly matters in this life. That at the heart of all things is love. Always love.

My new role has revealed to me that I carry within a tough softness, a tender fierceness that is so necessary in these times we find ourselves. That we start from the ground up to midwife the changes our broken, hurting world is in such desperate need of. Who we are and how we show up in every aspect of life all contributes to ushering in a new era of genuine care and collaboration. No area of life is insignificant. Be the change you wish to see wherever you find yourself. We need your light more than ever.

Spring is just around the corner now, although the weather outside my window as I write would beg to differ. Alongside the stormy days, the sap is rising, the bulbs are beginning to appear. The blooming is not far off. And I feel hopeful that despite the horrors we face in every direction that things are changing, that old ways are crumbling. It will take time for the world to be reshaped, without a doubt. But there are people already doing the work. People who have been doing the work for the longest time, not in the spotlight, but through the ordinary, everyday ways of showing up.

Let us keep showing up.

In Love,

Kelly x

My book Nurture is available to buy online at Buy the Book: here or by contacting me directly to place an order.